Lime Coke-- Mom! Jasper bit Peter!

I looked over at Alice, who was staring at Emmett in shock, “Emmett, you’re not funny, stop messing with Alice.”

“I’m not messing with Alice, Bell-uh,” Emmett chided in a half serious tone, “Jasper bit Peter on the ass.”


I looked at Emmett, clearly not believing a word that came out of the cross-dressing she devil’s mouth. I took a sip of my Jesus Juice before saying anything to my future brother-in-law, “ass biting butt pirate say what?”

Alice doubled over in giggles, and Emmett merely shrugged.

“It was a long time ago, and America was a very different place.”

“Emmett, you weren’t even alive then,” I shook my head, slowly feeling the effects of my drink.

“Doesn’t mean the country wasn’t different,” he said in a snooty tone, and for a moment I considered running him over with his own Jeep.

“Just tell us the damn story,” I growled as I threw one of Esme’s throw pillows at him.

“I will once you stop interrupting me,” I opened my mouth to retort but Emmett wiggled his finger at me before saying ‘nuh-uh’.

The freak wiggled his finger at me, like a girl, next thing you know Rose will have him in a mini skirt and a pair of four inch pumps. As much as I didn’t want to see that, I had to admit that the blackmail photos alone would be worth the years of mental scarring it would cause. If only…

“Jasper is going to kill me for telling you this, but in 1885 Jasper found a young man in an alley in a small Northern Mexican village, details aren’t important really,” he looked thoughtful for a moment, an unusual thing for the freakishly tall giant. “Anyways, back then Jasper was Maria’s bitch-“

I couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that escaped my lips at the thought of Jasper being anybody’s bitch, but that would explain why he acted like he had a stick shoved up him ninety-eight percent of the time.


“What? He was now Bells, be quiet,” he gave me a pointed look before continuing his crack pot story.

Jasper as a bitch.

Maria’s bitch, ha!

That was almost laughable.


I tried not to giggle as Emmett continued.


“Anywayzzz,” Emmett said, drawing out the ‘s’ in ‘anyways’ and making it sound like a ‘z’. Emmett had been watching too much trashy Mtv reality shows. I’d really have to talk to Carlisle about blocking the channel. “Jasp found Peter in an alley while hunting for some fresh meat, and Peter happened to fit the bill…”

‘Cue the flashback,’ I thought to myself.

A beautiful man with wavy honey blond hair and crimson eyes stood watching the young man; he took in every minute thing about the dark haired man. He was tall, slim, and stood perfectly erect with out much of a thought to it; it was natural to him, Jasper could tell. He was vaguely reminded of military personnel in the way the raven haired man stood. He was dressed simply in black slacks, a white button down, a long coat, and a simple hat graced his beautiful hea-

“Why do I feel like I’m listening to you read a bad erotica novel?” I asked, as I glared at him.


“Do I have to stuff a dirty sock in that pretty little mouth of yours Bell-lalala,” Emmett sang.

Boy has issues.

“Fine, just get to the point, I don’t have forever,” I sighed.

“You will in a few months, anywayzzz,” he said again, and I wanted to throttle him with one of Alice’s big bags.


He was beautiful and fit the bill perfectly for Maria’s campaign. Jasper sauntered at an almost lazy pace towards the stranger. The closer he got the more he realized how perfect he really was for Maria’s army. He was built like he had spent years working on a farm, and his deep tan matched Jasper’s theory. His sauntering turned into ghosting towards him at a phantom like pace. Once Jasper was within reaching distance he delivered a quick blow to the back of his neck successfully incapacitating the man.

“Oooo… Emmett’s pulling out those fifty cent words, Esme would be so proud!” I clapped my hands in a happy mocking manner.

“Bellarina don’t make me use the Vulcan death grip on you,” Emmett said while giving me a serious look. I almost laughed, almost.

“Two things Em,” Alice said through narrowed eyes, “One, Edward and I would rip you limb from limb, and Esme and Carlisle would torch your ass, and two the Vulcan death grip isn’t real.”

I snorted and resisted the urge to say ‘so stick that in your juice box and suck it.’ Emmett of course popped up with a retort. Idiot.


“That’s what she said.”


That’s right, Emmett McCarty Cullen just said, ‘that’s what she said.’ Kill me now, please.


I looked at him and shook my head sadly, “did you even use that right?”

He shrugged and grinned, “That’s what Mike’s mom said.”

Idiot.

Alice looked at me and rolled her eyes, “I need to tell Rose to stop letting him watch The Office.”

Emmett looked at us with puppy dog eyes, and said, “Are you two going to let me finish my story?”

Alice stuck her finger to her chin mocking a deep thoughtful look, “will you be finished with it in the next ten minutes?”

“You tell me, you’re the fortune telling crack pot here.” Emmett gave Alice a huge I-dare-you-to-fuck-with-me smile.

The small pixie like vampire narrowed her eyes dangerously, “Watch it McCarty, if you’re not careful I will kick your ass, and if I fail Jasper will.”

I cut Emmett off before he could retort and upset Alice even more, “Emmett, just finish the damn story before Ali kills you.” I stared at him blankly.

“Fine,” he pouted childishly; how Rosalie lived with him without murdering him I will never know.


Before the man could hit the ground, Jasper had lifted him bridal style and ran east towards the main compound that Maria, ten other newborns, and he shared. The normal three hour walk took him less than five minutes. Once he arrived he deposited the handsome man onto a large wooden table that they used to perform the changes on. The table was six and a half foot long, with aged leather straps on both ends; while humans couldn’t fight off the vampires that held them captive, Maria felt it added to the fun and excitement of the conversion.

Jasper quickly stripped the man-


"Leather straps and stripping prisoners? Do I need to cover my ears for the rest of the story?" I asked, honestly hearing that Jasper stripped and tied Peter up was not something I wanted to think about, but that would explain the way he looked at Carlisle sometimes.

"Shush and just listen Bell," Emmett chided.

"I don't wanna," I moaned.

"Tough."

-of his clothes before putting a long white dressing gown on him. Maria had said it was for comfort, but secretly he thought it was another sick element in her game.

The man started to come to just as he was strapped down on the table, another of Maria's creepy ideas. She liked to bite them on the curve of their neck, wrists, behind the knees and finally their ankles. Maria also believed in drinking a small amount from each victim to connect to them.

Bitch was crazy.

Maria entered the small room, an evil smile tugging at her plump lips as her eyes slowly raked down the man's body.

"He's perfect, Soldier, but he should be face down for this."

Jasper said nothing as he deftly flipped the man onto his stomach, and positioned his head so he could breathe easily.

"Precede Soldier," she commanded him never taking her eyes off the handsome man on the table.

Jasper moved closer to begin the process, his lips only a fraction of an inch from the man's tanned neck.

"Wait Soldier," she said in a low even voice to the blond man. "What is your name boy," she asked as she continued to watch him.

"Peter," he called in a shaken voice, "what are you going to do to me?" Fear laced his voice and Jasper's eyes emptied of all emotion, it was as if he was trying to block out all feeling.

"I'm not going to do anything to you Peter, Jasper is," she laughed coldly. "I really hope you survive this Peter, you may precede Soldier."


Jasper lowered his lips to Peter's neck, and bit down on the butter soft flesh. He tasted of peppermint and oranges, Jasper noted as he drank greedily from him.

"Enough Soldier," Maria told him sternly. "Finish biting him, and seal the wounds."

He made quick work of the last six bites before he stepped back next to the woman that had brought him into this life.


"You forgot one Soldier," she said as she looked over at him.

Jasper looked at her feeling a little confused, "I did? Where?"

The evil grin returned to Maria's face, "his ass.”


"And that's why Jasper bit Peter on the ass," Emmett continued with another boom like laugh.

I looked at him not believing a word he had said. "I don't know what your problem is Emmett, but I bet it's hard to say." Alice merely laughed as I stood up, "and with that said, I'm going to bed," before I call Jacob to rip off your left hand and hide it in Los Angeles, I added mentally.